So, I know that I promised we’d be back soon, but…you know what? Things happen.
And what happened? Well, I’ll tell you.
We sold out.
That’s right. We completely sold out. A little while ago, PoliceCat got hired to make some online videos the featured Cheetos. Yep. Little baby “viral” commercials. So we did. Now I know what you’re going to say. “But WHY, PoliceCat? Why did you do that?! Surely you don’t like Cheetos that much!” To which I answer “They paid us.”
It’s actually been really fun. We’ve pretty much been able to make whatever weird little sketch we’ve wanted. Below is the first one we made, featuring both myself and Mr. Berg. Check it out!
Hey, remember when we had a new sketch every week? Those days were great!
And then the Final Cut gremlins had to come and fuck everything up.
Well, now we’re finally back online and ready to get some new stuff up for you. Fear not. Now that the ultra-high tech (as of 2003) PoliceCat editing bay is back online, we can give you the brand new sketch comedy that you’ve been craving.
As a wise man once said, “All eyes on me.” PoliceCat will be back at ya in the next week or so, with brand new videos and some pretty cool stuff. Do you like Cheetos? Well, apparently, we do!
In the mean time, check out UCBComedy.com . It’s a brand new hub of comedy videos from the minds of Upright Citizens Brigade.
We love you,
Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer!
Berg’s with his family in Connecticut and I’m with mine in Georgia, but that doesn’t mean PoliceCat can sleep. No, sir.
Since it’s the holiday season and Christmas is tomorrow (only 3 more shopping hours until…) we’d like to give you something sure to put you in the yuletide spirit.
So, for you enjoyment, here are
QUOTES FROM IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE THAT SOUND DIRTY OUT OF CONTEXT!
Joe: “I don’t suppose you’d like this old second-hand job, would you?”
Carter: “Now, I’d like to finish up with you tonight.”
George: “Say, what kind of a teacher are you anyway? What do you mean sending her home like that, half-naked?”
George: “Mary, you on the nest?”
Mary: “Go on, Pete, you’re a big boy. you can put the star up. Way up at the top. That’s it. Fill in that little bare spot right there. That’s it.”
Sam: “Harry! You’re the guy I want to see. Coach has heard all about you…and his mouth’s watering.”
Recently, I made a two week jaunt across the continent of Europe. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? I saw many amazing things that you don’t get here in Los Angeles. Exotic things like buildings pre-dating the theatrical release of Bedtime For Bonzo. Buildings where you can smoke..INDOORS! Functional public transportation systems!
It was like I stumbled through the looking glass, and when I came through, I found baguettes, tight jeans and adorable accents.
So here, in words and pictures, are some things I learned while traveling through fair Europa.
Item #1: The most startling thing to me was how everyone in England drives cars that are clearly derived from the same technology that gave Wonder Woman her jet. I’m not sure how this amazing advance in invisible automobiles hasn’t “Crossed the pond” (That’s what they say! Aren’t the precious?), but I am very interested in purchasing one. On the down side, it makes parallel parking nigh on impossible.
Item #2: There is not nearly as much stabbing, netting and chariot-ing in the Coliseum as one would like. There ARE, however, a large number of German people.
Item #3: Frequently, Indiana Jones will go into some ancient tunnel looking for some artifact (that belongs in a museum!) and come across a lot of bones and skulls. Maybe they got trapped there. Maybe they got crushed in some sort of shrinking room. Maybe they chose…poorly. Either way, he isn’t phased when confronted with rows and rows of human remains. Heck, he’ll even jump into a coffin to protect himself from a wall of flame set by creepy shriners. I learned under the streets of Paris, however, that no matter how much you think you steeled yourself, dead people are creepy. And when they’re all lined up, staring at you with gaping eye holes…I don’t know how Junior does it.
Item #4: People in Paris would much rather stand around and watch a guy painted silver stand still than watch a clown do magic tricks and make balloon animals. By my informal count, approximately 60 chose silver-guy and exactly 0 chose the clown. Also, it just makes the clown sadder when you take a photograph of him looking forlornly at his more popular, metallic competitor
Item #5: Most importantly I learned that people in London watch a show called Food Poker. Its name accurately describes the show.
And THAT’S what I learned in Europe.
It’s the week of Halloween. That means the streets are filled with devils and zombies, the kids are filled with Snickers and Sweetarts and cable is filled with Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street sequels that cost under ten buck to get the rights to.
What better way to celebrate Frankenstein, Dracula and Henry Kissinger’s favorite holiday than with PoliceCat’s spookiest videos. We’ve got hauntings and pixies and blood galore. Ghosts and costumes and conversations with the dead. All to get you in the perfect mood for scary parties with girls dressed as slutty whatevers.
Light some candles, play some creepy theremin music and enjoy. But don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Trick or Treat,
PS What’s that? PoliceCat, you say? You were reading something typed by PoliceCat. That’s impossible! Why, they died in a terrible tractor fire over twenty years ago! Ooooooohhhhh!!!! Spooooooooky!